Monday, April 21, 2008

Sourpussy - wasn't that a Bond film?

Dear Sourpuss,

I have a co-worker who is not a nice man, and is a Muslim. He tells me that if I do not convert to Islam, that when Canada is ruled by Sharia law I will be among the first to be beheaded. I'm afraid of saying anything to the authorities because I will be accused of racism and bigotry.

I'm confused I thought you said people shouldn't force their religion on others? Would you do me a favor you dipshit? go look up "double standard" in the dictionary and get back to me when you grow a brain.

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

There is, um, no double standard. No, I don't like Christianity because Christians are always doing things like starting wars over oil, messing up my online access to the really good pr0n, and waking me up early on Saturday mornings by ringing my doorbell so they can hand me some stupid Chick comic about how I'll go to hell if I play D&D.

Now, Islam is the Religion of Peace, the way, the truth and the light. They don't ring my doorbell on Saturday mornings and wake me up (not sure how I'll deal with that call to prayer thing, though). Besides, they invented math. And, um, chess. Yeah. And I can take so many wives that I won't need to download pr0n any more (plus any of the wives who start to look like Libby Davies can be stoned and replaced). That, and I don't want to get beheaded. That can ruin your whole day.

I don't see any double standard, but I'm not a hateful Islamophobe like you so we lack a common frame of reference. Praise Allah for that! Now piss off before I file a human rights complaint against you, you bigot.

Ta.

Abu Mohammed ibn Scold
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