Lending a hand

Dear Scold,

Earlier today, in good faith, I sent a question to you.

You have not answered it.

I have retained counsel.

You are in deep shit.

Love and rockets,

Whatever fake name I used earlier but cannot be arsed to look up at the moment

Dear Whatever,

I could not answer your e-mail because I have no hands. I lost them in a misunderstanding when I was on vacation in Saudi Arabia a few years ago. I can't answer e-mails unless the typist that the CHRC ordered my employer to provide for me is present.

I find your e-mail subjects me to the likelihood of being the object of derision and hatred based on my physical impairment. Please be advised that I have filed human rights complaints against you federally, in B.C., and also in Ontario. I'm going to nail your ass and use the damages I get from the pain and suffering you caused to hire a second fluffer.

Ta.

The Scold
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