Dear Scold,
I've invented a religion and no one wants to join.
What can I do?
the first prophet zeke
Dear Zeke,
Try beheading a few of the people who have turned you down. This will encourage the others to convert and guarantees that the media will give you a free pass later on when you decide that preteen girls make good wives. Make sure you file human rights complaints against any Christians that try to oppose you. You're guaranteed to win before the HRC tribunals because everyone hates those Freaky Fundies. It's also a great way to raise funds for your new endeavor.
Ta.
The Scold
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