Making the grade

Most knowledgeable Mr. Scold

My oldest son, Malik, is ready to enter higher learning. We sent him back home to stay with family while he earned his high school diploma. He has practiced every grade at least twice and we are proud of his preparation efforts. He has his heart set on a career in nuclear science. Malik has focused his studies on the number zero and can tell you more about it than any of the teachers that have tutored him so far. He uses analogies to demonstrate his theorems to assist the unbelievers in understanding. For example, he adds it just like the value he has contributed to this world; Mailk subtracts it just like his loss to the world would be; He multiplies it and demonstrates the net product he will give to science. Malik is still struggling a bit with the division analogy, but thinks he may trip over it some day.

With this kind of natural talent, shouldn't he consider a career teaching in the public school system?

Praise be upon your advice,

Sewer of Seeds in Loverna, Sask

Dear Seeds,

Your son definitely has the potential to become a public school teacher, but it's important to remember that public education has become a transgressive occupation where heteronormative peccadilloes such as "academic achievement" have (thankfully!) taken a back seat to an individual's minority credentials, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, and political affiliations.

When your son is applying for his first public teaching job please encourage him to emphasize the following in his resume and cover letter:

- LGBT/transgendered status
- Minority group affiliations
- Number of years as a member of the NDP/Green Party
- Languages spoken (MUST include French!)
- Skin colour
- Physical/mental/emotional disabilities (MUST have at least one)
- Notable experiences as a victim of the white male majority

The best of luck to your son in his job quest. I'm sure he'll continue his tradition of adding value wherever he goes.

Ta.

The Scold
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